The American dating landscape today is less about chasing the thrill and more like a slow dreadful crawl. A YouGov poll found that 39% of Americans didn’t go on any dates in the past year, including with a current spouse or partner. The disconnect is sharpest among singles, where 69% report rarely or never dating. Romance is now contingent on who has the time and money to spare. About 74% of high earners say they give “a lot” or “some” time to romance each week, as opposed to 57% of the general population and just 50% of low earners.  

The same divide is also evident in weekly dating: 15% of high earners go on dates at least once a week versus 7% of low earners. Gender gaps add another layer, with 63% of men reporting regular romantic effort, compared with 52% of women, and nearly 28% of whom say they spend no time at all on their romantic lives. Over their lifetime, younger adults report far fewer dates than older Americans: 33% of adults aged 18–44 report having gone on just 1–3 dates total, while older adults report broader experience, including 20% of those 45+ who say they’ve been on more than 15 dates. 

Even spending patterns usually interpreted as a sign of interest are being redefined. The average Gen Z in the dating game reportedly spent $0 per month on dating, while about one-third spent less than $100. A closer look at dating apps also helps explain why the playing field feels so distorted. Pew Research Center data shows that Tinder dominates the landscape, with 46% of online daters using it, far outpacing other dating apps like Bumble which is at 28%. That concentration feeds a sense of overload: 37% of adults think dating platforms come with too many options thereby leaving them indecisive, while just 13% feel there aren’t enough. 

Financial restraint is just part of the story, dating today is unusually governed by rigid social expectations: 88% of Americans say dismissing service staff is unacceptable, 87% reject criticizing a date’s order or frequent phone use, and 84% disapprove of arriving late or encouraging heavy drinking. This restraint is prevalent across both genders, and shows caution rather than blatant disinterest. The number accentuates a dating economy where the trade is defined by hesitation. 

A report on dating trends by Forbes shows technology has convoluted rather than clarifying the process. 42% of U.S. adults say online dating has made the quest for long-term partners easier, but 22% say the quest has become harder because it’s virtual. Social psychology also plays a role including how men and women approach vulnerability, communication, and the accountability that comes with it.  

This has created mismatches in how people attempt to connect. For women the weight of bearing a masculinity crisis is unbearable. For men, living by the ideals of masculinity peddled by influencers, 55% of them feel women just don’t care about men. Divisive beliefs on gender equity have rendered dating a job that neither party wants to sign up for. 62% of single women don’t even want to date compared to 37% of men for whom the feeling is mutual.